This painting is about a finger nail clipping behind a bed and is not about any of my romantic
relationships current or past.
Last night before going to bed, she looked behind the bed.
She found it.
T.B wanted something from her that she couldn’t give him and I’m sure neither of them even
knew what that was, or, at least she didn’t. T.B was obsessed with her and had this idea of
them. She thought T.B wanted to put her in a cage. It was like her stuff and T.B’s stuff and then
it became just her stuff and she didn’t care about this stuff at all. She realized she didn’t even
care about him or his shit.
They were married in their minds but separated by an earthly distance that looked but did not
necessarily feel like a salty puddle inside of her shoes. The wave kept falling over her head and
she couldn’t get up but could breathe and T.B duck dived, yawning. Literally, she felt nothing.
Like, if he died it wouldn’t matter. But sometimes she was drowning and could actually taste salt
water in her mouth when it happened.
She just wanted him gone. She wanted him away from her because T.B was like this skin she
needed to shed. She had grown out of him and it’s awful to say (I know) because she had loved
T.B so much for so long but it just had to happen. It was like that skin she had shed gathered
itself up and started coming after her.
She did not apologize.